Valuing Yourself
It is a New Year and we are all recovering from the wrath of Holiday goodies and parties. Maybe you are like me and you traveled to see your family, or maybe you are crazy like me and combined travel with moving for the 4th time in 13 months 
I am a sucker for that kind of punishment, that is for sure.
I am now 31 years old, a mother, a self employed artist and dreamer of numerous dreams and facing the challenges of time and energy. In my 20′s all of these components of my life spun on the energy of determination and the strength of what I believed I could “do” (code for control). The greatest gift and mystery of motherhood is how a tiny person, who can barely do anything on its own but poop and cry, completely rattle my kingdom, the world I created for myself, with only myself in mind!
Thankfully I feel like I am entering a new season where I am less angry and dumbfounded by my son’s ability to completely rearrange my life and now I am beginning to receive and enjoy the restructured world I am now a part of. In this new season I am seeing how I have always struggled to value myself, to put things like exercise, rest, creativity, reading etc in front of being productive. I am trying to say yes to the voice inside that has long been silenced.
Do you struggle with these types of conditions:
- Getting sick when you are finally on holidays
- Having trouble deciding what to do for a holiday, date night or a day off
- Loosing steam in areas of creativity or healthy habits
- Inconsistency
- Setting goals and not being able to follow through
Well I struggle with all of those issues, and I would venture to say they are rooted in a pathological de-valuing of oneself. Daily habits of rest say, “I am worth it, I need this, I am lovely, I am important” What if we live our daily life upsetting and ignoring the rhythms of my heart that say you are valued! So when I arrive at a day off, a week of holidays, a date night, or even the most cherished time of a mother’s day – naptime, I tend to suffer with anxiety, confusion and a general feeling of wasting time because I have not cultivated a respect for my heart’s rhythm.
My heart explodes and says ” I need all the rest and attention you have neglected right now, all at once!” So the expectations of my heart rise to the surface in a rage and swell and overwhelm me, I can no longer compartmentalize the needs and say, this naptime I will read a cooking magazine or watch my favorite show. I feel the eruption of ignored needs and am crushed under their weights and demands, and this is why I get suffer under the scenarios I listed above.
Having a child has opened my eyes to rhythm, Hudson needs a nap, and a meal and playtime pretty much all at the same time every day, he thrives in an environment of HONOR! When I am valuing his needs and honoring the uniqueness of what works for him, and he is at rest! I am taking time in this new year to take a second look at my schedule, to take time to make a place for each of my heart’s desires. I truly believe this is the only way to ease the swell of ignored heart’s desires. If we make time to rest, eat, play, exercise, talk, read etc all of those needs will, in themselves, rest knowing they will be honored in our weekly rhythms, and our bodies will adjust and obey and thrive!
Do you need help creating a culture of value in your schedule? Email me if you would like some help or a high five along the way!
This entry was posted on Thursday, January 5th, 2012 at 3:30 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
